dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
