i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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