what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
