You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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