am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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