Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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