I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
