Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
