Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
