eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
time to smoke my breakfast
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
