Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
