I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
