marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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