he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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