sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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