I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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