Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
