I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
