I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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