I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
