I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
