You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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