Plan B is the new Plan A
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
