YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i love accidental penises.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
