Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The air was thick with penises
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
this hospital has no fireball
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
