you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
