I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
