She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
