I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm like, not good at living.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
