White coat. Heels.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
