not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
