So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
