those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
