When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
