we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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