I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I AM VODKA MAN
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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