and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
