You really coming over, don't trick.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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