hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
