dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
