Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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