I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
