What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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