I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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