he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize