I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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