Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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