I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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