Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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