I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
