apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
