He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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