If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
